loss_gain_pain Toa Heftiba

I am thirty-five years old. I don’t live on a cloud anymore and do wear pink glasses only occasionally. Life made me more realistic, but never pessimistic. Loss, Gain and Pain take part of my life as well. Sometimes I lose, sometimes I gain. We all do! And therefore, I think that’s a great topic to be discussed at Elizevent Platform.

Honestly, in our days we are not secured any longer. And I am not panicking or overreacting, I simply take it as our current reality. We are living in the world when many things unexpectedly can simply stop being your amazing reality any more. We can lose! There are daily job losses, health losses, divorces happen daily. People lose their lives attending concerts because somebody decided for them and instead of them. People get hit and barely survive or do not survive due to hurricanes, floods, earthquakes and other climate cataclysms. And unfortunately, this is our current reality as well.

We may lose everything within a day due to some circumstances, unbelievable coincidences and all we worked for, invested in all meanings into gets ruined. That indeed may happen, but purpose of my post is not to scare you, depress or turn into pessimistic moods. Not at all! My purpose is to share my thoughts on this topic, my point of view, ways to avoid some losses and solutions to go through the ones that happen.

Hope this post will be a helpful reading and hope it will make you at least a bit happier and will give you some fuel for a better tomorrow! I wish, by the end of this article, you will feel that some things can be fixed and there is a way to find an inside balance.

My hard was broken and not only once… My losses were from 1 to 10 scale and probably covered mostly all available numbers. I am not that forever happy lady telling “Don’t worry” to someone who indeed knows how the real pain feels inside. I also do and don’t aim to compare the levels of pain and who was hurt the most. My goal is to help you make an effort to live with it even though it hurts. Even though there is a huge hole left inside.

There are different types of loss and it is extremely hard to have one size fits all solution for each of them. Even listing types of losses is not an easy task. An important thing is, in all that level of pain after loosing something or someone not to loose yourself.

“After the shipwreck, when the ship is still going down, and all you have left are bits of it still floating in the sea all around you, it’s nearly impossible to tell at first what will actually hold you up.  The ground that was once beneath your feet, is now scattered all around you… In the shipwreck, you may feel like you lost it all.  Everything is in pieces.  But in the fragments, there are planks that remain—pieces of desire, of dreams, of hope, of imagination, of longing, that rise to the top of you even now.  They are no longer attached neatly together, but they are still afloat in the swirling chaos of you.  You may not need all of them. Perhaps you don’t need many of them.  But you almost certainly need one of them. You only need one small plank, one reason not to give up, one reason to stay alive…today.” ~ How to Survive a Shipwreck by Jonathan Martin


Yes, there different loses. Different levels of consequences afterwards. But I strongly believe that there is a path toward recovery and better tomorrow. I choose to focus on good things instead of bad, sad and negative ones.

Maybe it is good habit to stop over-stress ourselves with things that may hypothetically happen? And good habit to try go through and don’t drift if bad things actually happen? Because sometimes you lose something like job or marriage but what if that can become path toward something new and better? What if that’s not the end but a new beginning?

Earlier, I shared my thoughts on JOB LOSS: Ways to avoid and Aftermath if it happened that might be helpful if it relates to you.

Sometimes, the loss is too big and our eyes are often in tears…for years and years… One important thing to remember is that in all that sad mess we have only one precious life of ours and it is up to us what to do with it next. So, why not to choose living it instead of regretting it? Try again to believe in good things. Try to forgive everyone you are upset on and surround yourself with people you feel comfortable with. With people who can light you up again.

Fill your life with purpose! And as a result, you will find reasons to live happier, to work things out and to recover!



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